Autumn of 2005 I had reached a point in my life where nothing was working. I’m sure to outsiders my life was looking just fine but it just wasn’t working. I looked back at all of the things I disliked about my life 10 years before and most things hadn’t changed. It was time to take action. I finally realized that no one was going to make the changes in my life for me. I had to do it myself.
Then the question became what do I want? How did I want my life to be? I didn’t know. All I knew was that I wasn’t happy. I realized that I didn’t have any dreams. I’d abandoned all of my dreams at some point far in the past.
I spent the next six months reading every book the public library system had to offer on careers, relationships, finance, and “self actualization”. While most of the books seemed well thought out none of them really helped me pinpoint what changes I needed to make. Too many doors seemed closed.
Finally, I found the book Now What?: 90 Days to a New Life Direction which finally let me see that anything was possible if I planned. After a couple of months, having re-read this book a number of times, I had a plan. A two year plan that involved changing just about everything in my life.
I decided where I wanted to be in my life in 5 years, in 2 years and then started planning out what steps I would need to take to meet those goals. I’m happy to say that this worked (mostly) and one of the biggest, most painful decisions (and the one that seemed the most impossible) was made.
You know the expression Life is what happens when you’re making other plans? Well life happened to my 2 year master plan. Other peoples’ actions, which had direct impact on my own plans, threw me off of my track. Like a deer in the headlights I was frozen again.
I’ve spent the last 6 months at a standstill. Making zero progress toward the goals. I’ve fallen back into the patterns that created the life that wasn’t working for me again. And again, it is not working.
Over the last few days, as a bunch of serious problems are coming to crisis point in my life, I started dreaming again. A 10 year plan which sees me living in the South of France in a small cottage. Once again I have a goal. Now it’s time to dust myself off and start planning out what steps I need to take to make that 10 year plan happen.
Thanks Charles for helping me dream again and kicking my ass for letting things fall back into the standstill.
I’ve noticed a few of my twitter friends seem to be going through their own metamorphosis recently and I wish them all the best in planning and reaching their goals. It’s often a lonely time in one’s life. No matter how supportive spouse, family, friends, or colleagues are you’re truly on your own on the journey.