Yesterday was to be Day 1 of Phase 1 of the South Beach diet in my household.

3 chocolates & 2 bottles of porter later… not off to such a great start. I’ve been suffering for two weeks with a nasty flu. My birthday is in a few days and I’ve had several invites to go out for dinner with friends. Great time to start  a diet. I think I set myself up to fail before I began.

A couple of years ago we did the South Beach diet for a few months with great results. Lost a bit of weight but more importantly gained some energy. We vowed it wasn’t a diet it was a lifestyle change. Mmhmm.. within 4 months we were back to the pasta, breads, & rice as regular parts of our daily meals and the SB diet lifestyle was forgotten again.

The problem is that pasta, bread, rice, and similar foods are easy. They’re fast. Avoiding these foods is a lot of work. I can walk past a carton of ice cream or a bag of cookies every day and not bat an eye. But when I’m tired (or lazy!) it’s a lot easier to cook some pasta and throw some sauce on it then it is to cook vegetables & protein. When I think of comfort foods I think mac & cheese, pizza, mashed potatoes not scrambled eggs & steamed spinach.

So today’s question is… Do I do a sort of half-assed version of SB for the next week or so and still go out for birthday dinners out with friends and order as I wish? Do I just say fukkit to the SB diet until the birthday outings are over? Or do I buckle down, try to stick to Phase 1 as I’m supposed to making life uncomfortable for both myself and those who’ve invited me to dinner?

Filed under: chatter, food, goals by Merlene
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In response to being tagged in Jeff Pulver’s “Bucket List” 2008 note on Facebook I’ve spent a day thinking about what should be on my own list. In 2007 I made the decision to end my marriage. A relationship that I’d been in since I was 14 years old. This means that pretty much every part of my life is changing. There’s a new Merlene here. I’m not 100% who she is just yet but for now let’s call her Merlene 2.0 (or Merlene in Motion! Thanks Pistachio!)

So here, in no particular order, is my “Bucket List” of things I’d like to accomplish in 2008:

- learn to drive a car. I’m 39 years old and I’ve never driven a car. Since I was a teenager I was discouraged to get my license with comments such as “not everyone was meant to drive” or “I’ll believe it when I see it.” What was originally something I was discouraged about has evolved into a complete phobia to the point where I feel physically ill at the thought of getting behind the wheel of a car. So this is the year that I take a driver’s course. Hell I’ll take 2 or 3 if that’s what it takes. I will get my license.

- take some training courses and certifications. I’ve been wanting to get my certification in home staging and professional organizing for several years now. This year I’m planning to stop thinking about it and start doing it.

- start my own business. Again something I’ve wanted to do for years but have been discouraged by another not to. This year combined with the training above I’m going to start my own contracting business in the areas of professional home staging and organizing. I’ve built up some great contacts in real estate sales and in the world of general contracting. It’s time again to stop thinking about it and start doing it.

- travel. Specifically I want to travel to at least 2 shows/conferences in the new/social media world. I’ve met some great people who I think are doing great things in the changing world of media and I’m excited to learn more and get more involved in things.

- be visiable. I’ve spent much of the last 18 years at home. Literally. I have gone as much as 7 weeks at a stretch without leaving my home. This year I plan to get out and get involved in things: community groups, Toastmasters, local social media groups, etc.

- write. I’ve several book ideas (both fiction and non) and hundreds of blog post and article ideas but I never seem to get myself organized to just write. Again a level of discouragement in that area that’s being eliminated.

- learn. I’m constantly learning new things and I want to continue that. Always.

I have a longer “Bucket List” of sorts that’s more of a 10 yr plan but that can wait for another day.

Filed under: goals, productivity, social media, writing by Merlene
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Dear Secret Santa,

Today I was very frustrated. I agreed to join a Secret Santa gift exchange weeks ago with some social media types on Twitter. When I got the name of the person I was supposed to gift to, she wasn’t someone I knew, followed, read, or whatever.

I immediately started following her on twitter, subscribed to her blog on Google Reader and even went back over her last couple of months of posts on both twitter and her blog trying to get a bit of a feel for who she was and what she would like. After weeks of this I’m still no further along with my quest to find a suitable gift for her. I finally found something today which I hope she likes and shipped it off.

So while grousing to all who’d listen about how frustrating it has been to figure out a gift for this woman … the light bulb went on… maybe someone in the same gift exchange got MY name and now is banging their own head against the wall trying to figure out what to get for me!

So… my Dear Secret Santa… here are a few things that might hopefully make things a little easier to figure out for me…

I like the following things:

• raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens… really I do.
• coffee
• anything coffee/espresso/mocha flavoured
• did I mention I like coffee? I do. But only coffee flavoured coffee. No French Vanilla, Chocolate Mint, Hazelnut, etc. Just coffee.
• the colour red. Vibrant primary fire engine cherry red. Love it.
• chocolate - milk chocolate is my favourite but dark is good too. I’m a purist though… no flavoured chocolate. Unless it’s coffee flavoured chocolate. I’m good with that
• yarn - natural fibres
• bamboo or walnut knitting needles
• did I mention coffee?
• siamese and ragdoll cats and anything that has images of siamese or ragdoll cats
• silly mugs with slogans (you know… for the coffee)
• silly t-shirts with slogans (size small or medium - I can do either - dark colors won’t show the coffee stains)
• mystery novels - I haven’t bought any in ages so if it was published in 2007 I haven’t read it.
• foodie stuff - kitcheny stuff (my kitchen is blood red), including sauces, spreads, mixes, etc. Always fun to try new things.

I do not like the following:

• flavoured coffees (I do love coffee though)
• knicknacks, bric-a-brac, dust collectors, etc - with the following exceptions: I like anything to do with The Nightmare Before Christmas and/or Tim Burton related items
• tea

And so… in closing… I hope I’ve helped you if you’re still shopping for me Dear Secret Santa. I hope I’m not too late.

I hope you have a wonderful, safe holiday season and that your Secret Santa is extra good to you this year.

Love,

Merlene

P.S. Did I happen to mention I like coffee?

www.twitter.com/merlene

Filed under: chatter, social media by Merlene
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This morning on twitter an interesting thing happened. Now most mornings have interesting happenings on twitter, not just today but this one speaks to where I’m at right now:

kelleyburrus: @merlene inspired me to shift my perspective, randomly. I’m researching Alpaca farms….and why not?

chrisbrogan: @kelleyburrus - research away! Dream big.

That’s it right there. Dream big.

Recently I wrote a piece about being at a standstill and how I needed to kick start myself back on track with my plans and dreams.

Here’s the big dream. The 10 year dream. In 10 years time I plan to sell most of what I own and move to the South of France. My kids will both be finished college and living their own lives and pursuing their own dreams and won’t need me right here. With today’s technology (and just imagine the advances the next 10 years will bring) we can talk with cellphones and video chats over webcam just as easily around the globe as we can around the corner.

So the dream. I’ve imagined a smallish cottage with 2 or 3 small bedrooms. A nice garden area to sit and write in. A short walk into the local village for a visit to the market and a stop at a cafe. Mild temperatures year round. Friends & family visiting. Local wines and local produce to savour.

Once there my actual living expenses should be pretty minimal and my writing will generate more than enough income (passive income for the win!) to meet my needs.

Why the South of France? Climate is a large part of it. I’ve always wanted to live in an area that was milder than Canada without being too humid or too dry. A few years ago I discovered the book A Year in Provence by Peter Mayle and since have read his books detailing his experiences as an Englishman living in Provence a number of times and it’s always sounded like the perfect life.

So… 10 years from now that’s my plan. Now I’m working on the steps I need to take and setting the plans in motion to make that big dream a reality in 10 years time. Don’t worry. The guest room will always be ready.

Filed under: chatter, goals, social media by Merlene
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As part of my goal to make some changes in my life I have to take over the mortgage payments and all of the bills for my household. My income doesn’t cover the current bills so it’s time to take action.

First thing to go: telephone. Not only have I been paying for regular telephone service with a long distance plan, voice mail, call waiting, and so on but I’m also paying for cellular phones for myself and my kids. Something had to go so the home phone was the one to take the hit. Savings: $60+ /month

Next thing to go: DSL internet service. With no home phone I have to switch to cable internet. I’ve gone from my $50/month Ultra highspeed DSL to $25/month for highspeed lite cable. After a month on the highspeed lite I can state that I’ve not seen any noticeable difference in speed except when downloading large files which I don’t do often. Savings: $25/month

Next up: Unnesssary cable expenses. We had a package that gave us all of the digital channels, movie networks and rental of a digital receiver with built in DVR. I’ve shaved off the movie networks @ $17/month and the rental of the receiver @ $20/month. I’m still looking at cancelling some of the digital channels in the near future. Currently savings: $37/month

In addition to these savings I’ve started using a programmable thermostat on my furnace. I’m one of those people who are always cold in the winter and I tend to keep the temperature between 7 5 and 80 degrees F from October to April. You can imagine what this does to my hydro & gas bills. I’ve now set the temp to go down to 50F at night and up to 70F during the day while I’m home. I often turn the furnace off completely during the day and put on an extra sweater. Ok I’m starting to resemble Shamu with the 3 sweaters I’m wearing but it’s helping my bills and it’s helping the environment by using less hydro and gas.

Over the next few months I’ll be doing more posts to outline the small changes I’m making in my daily life to not only cut my expenses but also to cut back on the energy that’s wasted.

Filed under: frugal living by Merlene
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While the idea of the novelist crouched over his paper (typewriter, keyboard) in poor light in a cramped attic may seem romantic it does little to add to your productivity or to your health.

Getting up and stretching or even walking around a bit every 20-30 minutes can relieve cramping and stress in your body and give you a boost in energy. Deskhappy.com has a great site to help you with some stretches. Take a few minutes to close your eyes, breathe deeply and slowly. Amazing how much energy you can get just by breathing deeply and getting more oxygen.

Going for a daily walk can help you get those creative juices flowing. While your body is in motion let your mind sink into your story. Think ahead to the next scene. Picture it in your mind as you breathe and move. You should find renewed clarity and enthusiasm for you novel when you sit back down to your computer.

Get plenty of sleep. A well rested mind is an active and curious mind. Try to get 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep each day. As you go to bed each night try to clear your mind of all worries. You can think about the next scene in your novel as you drift off. Play the scene in your mind as if your characters are actors in a film.

Drink plenty of water. Experts recommend 8 to 12 glasses of water per day to be healthy. Instead of reaching for a soda or another cup of coffee, reach for a glass of water instead. You’ll feel refreshed and hydrated without the extra calories or caffeine that your body just doesn’t need.

Good luck & Happy Noveling!

Filed under: NaNoWriMo, writing by Merlene
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Autumn of 2005 I had reached a point in my life where nothing was working. I’m sure to outsiders my life was looking just fine but it just wasn’t working. I looked back at all of the things I disliked about my life 10 years before and most things hadn’t changed. It was time to take action. I finally realized that no one was going to make the changes in my life for me. I had to do it myself.

Then the question became what do I want? How did I want my life to be? I didn’t know. All I knew was that I wasn’t happy. I realized that I didn’t have any dreams. I’d abandoned all of my dreams at some point far in the past.

I spent the next six months reading every book the public library system had to offer on careers, relationships, finance, and “self actualization”. While most of the books seemed well thought out none of them really helped me pinpoint what changes I needed to make. Too many doors seemed closed.

Finally, I found the book Now What?: 90 Days to a New Life Direction which finally let me see that anything was possible if I planned. After a couple of months, having re-read this book a number of times, I had a plan. A two year plan that involved changing just about everything in my life.

I decided where I wanted to be in my life in 5 years, in 2 years and then started planning out what steps I would need to take to meet those goals. I’m happy to say that this worked (mostly) and one of the biggest, most painful decisions (and the one that seemed the most impossible) was made.

You know the expression Life is what happens when you’re making other plans? Well life happened to my 2 year master plan. Other peoples’ actions, which had direct impact on my own plans, threw me off of my track. Like a deer in the headlights I was frozen again.

I’ve spent the last 6 months at a standstill. Making zero progress toward the goals. I’ve fallen back into the patterns that created the life that wasn’t working for me again. And again, it is not working.

Over the last few days, as a bunch of serious problems are coming to crisis point in my life, I started dreaming again. A 10 year plan which sees me living in the South of France in a small cottage. Once again I have a goal. Now it’s time to dust myself off and start planning out what steps I need to take to make that 10 year plan happen.

Thanks Charles for helping me dream again and kicking my ass for letting things fall back into the standstill.

I’ve noticed a few of my twitter friends seem to be going through their own metamorphosis recently and I wish them all the best in planning and reaching their goals. It’s often a lonely time in one’s life. No matter how supportive spouse, family, friends, or colleagues are you’re truly on your own on the journey.

Filed under: chatter, frugal living, productivity by Merlene
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Garbage in = garbage out.

Writing a novel during NaNoWriMo is a challenge of endurance. If you’re eating too much junk food with the excuse that you don’t have time to eat healthy because you’ve only got so many hours in a day and you need to get this novel done dammit you’re going to crash.

Novel writing while not exactly physically challenging (for most of us at least) can be both mentally and emotionally challenging. If you’re loading up on Twinkies, ramen and soda with a chocolate bar chaser you’re not doing your brain any favours.

Try to eat balanced meals high in protein, fibre and vegetables. A sandwich if chicken, lettuce, tomato & cheese on multigrain bread doesn’t take much more time to make than it does to grab a bag of potato chips but which is going to help your brain stay creative, alert and focused the longest?

Think about what you’re putting into your body as you write this month. Do marathon runners live on ramen, candy & soda or do they eat the foods that will give them energy in the long run?

Good Luck & Happy Noveling!

Filed under: NaNoWriMo, writing by Merlene
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You’ve written 5000 words of your NaNoWriMo novel and you’ve hit a wall but you’ve got this great idea for a different novel that you’re just itching to begin. You think about deleting that first novel or setting it aside and beginning from scratch on the new novel idea. After all you still have lots of time to reach 50,000 words, right?

This happens to me frequently. I plot and plan. I write character sketches. I research. I spend the entire month of October preparing for November’s NaNoWriMo and usually around the start of week 2 I want to write something totally different. In a different genre.

In No Plot, No Problem author Chris Baty (the guy behind NaNoWriMo) encourages you to keep those first words. Even if the novel is completely changed. Just keep writing. Every word counts. It started off as a Western and now you want Vampires and Aliens fighting to rule the Earth? Great! Write that.

Those first words of the Western are threatening to tar and feather you if you start writing about Zorag from planet Zeinowa*!wao’s plans to overthrow Lord Elden the Vampire leader? I have a simple solution for you. Change the font. Change the font colour. The font size. Minimize your 5000 words of Western so the tar and feather posse aren’t hassling you any longer. Those words still count as 50,000 words of fiction written for your NaNoWriMo Novel.

Just make them really, really, small for now.

Good Luck & Happy Noveling!

Filed under: NaNoWriMo, writing by Merlene
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Great dialogue is what makes your characters realistic. It’s what powers your plot plot. Without good dialogue your novel will seem flat and your reader will quickly lose interest.

I’ve a list here of some places to read up on how to create good dialogue:

• Writing Dialogue
• How to Write Dialogue
• Tips on Writing Better Dialogue

I find I get a lot of inspiration for dialogue by listening to conversations around me at a cafe or a restaurant. The little bits you overhear are always enough to give you an idea of your own that’s often very different from the context of the original conversation.

Other great sources of inspiration can be found in any of the “overheard” websites such as:

• Overheard in New York (my favourite)
• Overheard in the Office
• Overheard in Dublin
• Overheard in the Blogosphere
• Overheard at the Beach

Good luck & Happy Noveling!

Filed under: NaNoWriMo, writing by Merlene
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